Here's to material things...

There once was a girl who was born

With large, muscular calves.  She's forlorn

Because ev-e-ry boot

She tries on is a hoot.

They don't zip-up (to her scorn).

But one day this girl found a store

That sold boots for large calves galore!

She clicked on the link

And picked ones in pink*

So her calves won't go naked no more.

*Of course, I didn't get them in pink.  But I got them in brown!!